Communicating with loved ones who have dementia

Communicating with loved ones who have dementia by Melanie Jade Rummel

If your loved one is unable to communicate due to dementia, a ventilator, comatose state, or other physical condition, you can still communicate with their spirit to get reassurance and answers. This is especially helpful if you are faced with making end-of-life decisions for your loved one.

It’s common to second-guess your decisions or worry that you’re not doing what your loved one would want you to do. Your loved one’s physical body might be preventing them from communicating clearly, but their spirit is alive and well.

As a medium, my expertise is in communicating with spirits. I regularly help people who are feeling overwhelmed with trying to make end of life decisions for their loved one. By helping my clients connect to their loved one’s spirit, they get answers, peace of mind, and have the confidence they need to make decisions.

Guided Communication with Someone Who Has Dementia

The easiest way to connect with them is to schedule a private session. I lead you through a guided meditation to connect with your loved one so you can ask them your questions. You will get the answers you need to help you know how to move forward. Even if you don’t regularly meditate and have never experienced something like this before, I can help you communicate with your loved one.

You can try to communicate with them on your own as well. Some people find this difficult because they are already feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and worried about their loved one. Strong emotions can make you doubt the natural connection we all have access to.

Using Meditation to Communicate with Someone Who Has Dementia

This is different from what you will experience in a private session, but the basic premise is the same. One of my clients regularly uses these techniques to communicate with her mother, who has dementia and is in the memory unit of a hospital. Even though her mother can’t communicate in traditional ways, she can talk with my client using her thoughts. From three hours away, my client will feel a light touch on her cheek when her mother wants to talk, and then they communicate through thoughts that they send to each other.

Here’s how to have your own experience:

  1. Take a few minutes to sit quietly and calm your mind. Listening to relaxing music can help. Imagine releasing tension and worry with each breath.
  2. Feel your love for your family member, and imagine sending them love. Feel the love they have for you in return.
  3. Ask your loved one your question or send a thought to your loved one. You can send a feeling, an image, or just talk to them in your mind.
  4. Allow time for their response. Notice what feeling, image, or message comes to you in response. Imagine you know what they want to say. What comes to your mind? Write down what you get. Continue with your communication until you have finished.
  5. End by feeling the love and gratitude you share with your loved one.

Your loved one’s messages will feel subtle, like your own thoughts. However, you will receive thoughts that you didn’t actively think. The thoughts will be surprising because you didn’t think them. They sound and feel like your loved one. You will also notice a new sense of peace and knowledge that you didn’t have before communicating with your loved one.

It’s common to feel like you’re making it up. Keep practicing, and eventually the feeling of your loved one’s thoughts will get stronger and more distinct from your own thoughts. To have my help with this, visit the End of Life Guidance section of my website.

Talking with Your Loved One Who Has Dementia

When you talk with your loved one, they can hear you, even if they can’t respond in their normal way. You can play music, tell them what’s happening in the family, and share whatever else you want to with them. Some part of them hears and is aware of what you want them to know.

What Your Loved Ones Who Have Dementia Want You To Know

Your loved one wants you to know that their body is preventing communication, but who they are as a spirit is fine. In readings I’ve done, they make a clear distinction between what is happening with the body and what they are feeling as a spirit. It’s similar to when you see your body aging but don’t feel any older on the inside. Who you are on a spirit level is the same, even if your body looks and feels different.

Loved ones also frequently share who they see on the other side. Weeks or months before someone passes, they can start to see and communicate with their already-deceased family and friends on the other side. Your loved one might start mentioning family members who have already passed and talk to them like they are in the room. That’s because they are! We are all greeted by our loved ones before we pass.

Finally, your loved ones want you to know they will be okay. Everyone is okay on the other side. We are greeted by loved ones before we go, and we are surrounded in feelings of love and comfort. Your loved one will still be part of your life after they pass, and they can even send you signs. You can learn more about signs they can send in my Signs from the Other Side self-guided course.

Final Thoughts

When a loved one has dementia, it might feel like you’ve lost them long before their body dies. I want to share the message that their body is interfering in their ability to communicate, but part of them still understands. The person you know them to be still exists, even though traditional methods of communication might not work.

If you have a family member with dementia, I send you love. I can’t begin to imagine all the emotions you’re dealing with. I hope that reading these messages has offered some amount of comfort. Please let me know if I can help through doing a reading for you or in some other way.

Sending you love,


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