Dealing with Death and the Grieving Process

Dealing with death and the grieving process

Hi Friends,

I know I’ve been quiet on my blog the past week. Mark’s grandfather passed away, and we have been healing emotionally and working together as a family to make arrangements and help everyone through this transition. This is the first time someone I have been very close to has passed into Spirit, and throughout the process I have been observing how I am reacting and how I feel. Even though I have been emotionally upset, I am also fascinated by the grieving process. I know we all experience the loss of a loved one at some point in our lives, and I have a few experiences/insights I would like to share with you.

Begging for a Sign
As soon as Mark’s grandfather died, I asked him to show me that he was okay. I knew he was, but I still wanted proof. It was so important to me that he visit. I thought, “If I know for a fact that Spirits are okay once they leave the physical body, and I have even communicated with them in the past, and yet I am still begging for a sign—-how must people who don’t have that kind of connection feel? Their desire for a sign must be a hundred times what mine is.” I felt a lot of compassion for people who wonder if their loved ones are okay. It’s common to ask for a sign from loved ones in Spirit, and they will definitely send them, but sometimes we have certain expectations that lead us to overlook the signs they are sending to us.

Releasing Expectations
As Mark and I were spending time in his grandfather’s house the day after his passing, I told him in my mind to knock something over. I asked him to appear in front of me. I kept asking and kept asking, and it didn’t happen. It was only two days later that I realized he had sent a sign, but I had overlooked it because I had expected him to knock something over. I overlooked seeing the energy moving in front of me, indicating a Spirit present, because it didn’t fully form into an image of him. I overlooked the fact that I started talking like him, using phrases he used and was even sitting like him. I found myself sitting hunched over, leaning to the right, and finding it difficult to sit up straight. I was literally channeling him in those moments, and I completely overlooked it. Since that day, he has sent many signs – in a license plate, through other people, in a mediumship reading I did for my mother, and in many other ways.

I have spoken to other people who say their loved ones have never sent a sign, and I wonder if they were experiencing the same thing I was. Maybe they have expectations of what signs to look for, and they are missing the obvious ways their loved ones are coming through for them. So if you are looking for a sign from your loved one – or from your Spirit Guides – release your expectations of how the sign or message will come to you. Be open to receiving it in ways you can’t even imagine right now. Ask, release your expectations, and you will recognize the sign when it comes to you.

The Roles We Play
I’ve also recognized the different roles people play in the grieving process. Some members of our family are highly tuned into their emotions and pick up on and express their grief as well as the grief of other family members. Other people appear detached and go immediately into practical, problem-solving mode. This may appear cold to the emotional people, but I’ve come to see it as another way of expressing love. They are expressing their love for the person who has passed by doing their best to take care of their physical belongings and the practical needs of the family. So I’ve been able to observe how different members of our family are grieving without judging how they are grieving. Everyone has a role to play. If we were all emotional, nothing would get done. If we were all practical, no one would connect to their memories and heal their emotions, which is also a necessary part of grieving. So whenever you are dealing with a loved one passing, try to recognize the role each person is playing, and try to see each role as an expression of love. This prevents a lot of hurt feelings and arguments 🙂

We All Pass Into Spirit
The final thing I would like to comment on is that even if the people we love have no belief in the Spirit World when they are alive, they still pass into Spirit and are okay. They continue their journey of learning in Spirit, just like everyone else. My first proof of this came after my grandfather died. He sent me a message one day to tell my grandmother (who is very spiritual) that “now he knows.” Apparently he didn’t believe in an afterlife until after he died.

Mark’s grandfather was the most closed-minded person I have ever met when it came to psychic ability, intuition, Spirits, or anything spiritual. He was an engineer, a wonderful man, but he didn’t even have an iota of awareness about intuition, energy, or spirits. I even asked him one day, “Haven’t you ever walked into a home and felt immediately if the people are happy or if the relationships are tense?” I thought everyone had experienced this, but he had no clue what I was talking about. It didn’t matter. When we would have a conversation like this, I smiled to myself, knowing that as soon as he passed, he would come to me and start talking. I told myself that I would tell him, “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. You don’t exist, remember?” But when the time came, I forgot all about that and was just happy to hear from him.

I feel like this is especially important for spiritual people to know. It doesn’t matter if your loved one who has passed was spiritual in life or not. We all go back to Spirit. We don’t go in the fiery pits of hell. We just go onto the next stage of our learning process. We are free from our physical pains. We are more aware, and we are all okay.


I hope these thoughts and observations help you when you are grieving the loss of your loved ones. Remember to give yourself time to heal. Nurture yourself. Have compassion as you experience different mood swings, feelings of being tired, or anything else. Treat yourself with love. Also, recognize the people around you are grieving as well and aren’t intentionally trying to irritate you 🙂

Sending you love,

Melanie Jade

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