The words we speak are so powerful. Every time we speak positively out loud or in our minds, wonderful positive energy is created. One of the things I have become very conscious of in the past several years is making sure the words I speak are creating the reality I want to experience in my life. Most negative thinking patterns are pretty easy to spot, but there are a few tricky words that pop up every now and again that can have a big difference on the way we feel.
One of the words people use a lot that isn’t beneficial to anyone is should. I should do this. I should think this. I should be more like that. Should should should. I shouldn’t care. I shouldn’t feel this way.
Let’s take the following example:
I should get off the couch and do the dishes.
What do we learn from this? This person really wants to remain on the couch. Who can blame her? There’s probably a great show on and she is probably feeling super comfy. However, she has somehow got it into her head that it is not appropriate to watch hours of TV at a time, especially when there are dishes to be done. Why? Who says? We don’t know. Also, she is probably either going to stay on the couch and feel guilty for doing it or do the dishes and feel unhappy because she really wants to be on the couch. (Of course, she could just do the dishes during the commercials, but whatev).
Guilt, resentment, and blame are all low energy emotions. Do we really want to make ourselves feel those things? Heck no! Then we’d just have to binge on Ben & Jerry’s!
What causes us to put ourselves through the should game? Who is this voice in our heads telling us what we should or shouldn’t be doing? Shouldn’t we tell it to be quiet?
I think so 🙂
So what do we say instead? How about, “I am enjoying my rest on the couch, and when I am ready I will do the dishes.” Pah ha ha – like that will happen. Especially if HGTV is on, which is my channel of choice. That and the Green Channel, which I love love love! Back to the subject though…It may not initially seem like changing one word can make a big difference, but the initial sentence (the one with should) places the person in a victim mode, which is not a powerful place to be. The second version reinforces a sense of personal power and choice. You do have the power over your own life! Notice when you say should and try changing your sentence into one of personal choice. See if you feel a difference 🙂
P.S. I know there are some pretty clever people out there reading this who will just replace should with need to. Not so fast! You and I both know they are the same thing! Just say no to should, have to, need to, must, and any similar word. Say yes to I want to, I’m going to, I’m considering, etc.