What to do When You Feel Fearful: Part 2

Hi Friends!

This is the sequel to the post I wrote yesterday about techniques to help get past feeling fearful when you’re taking a leap of faith and creating your ideal life.  Sometimes it can be scary or you may completely doubt that what you want to create in your life can actually happen, and those are the times you need to find a way to regroup, encourage yourself, and keep going.  Here are some more techniques I use to do just that:

  • When I start doubting if what I want can actually happen, I say, “Stop,” in my head, and then I’ll consciously focus on visualizing myself in the reality I’m manifesting.

telescope overlooking water

Focus on what you do want.  See it as your current reality.

For example, right now we’ve found a home we want to live in.  When I start worrying and wondering when everything will come into place and we’ll be able to move into it, I stop my mind.  I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and then I imagine already living in the home.  I imagine decorating each room with my husband, having parties with friends there, I debate seating arrangements, I look online for decorating inspiration, I feel the wind on my cheek from the open windows of our bedroom, I hear the tree leaves rustling, and I look through the photos of the house I’ve saved on my computer.  I become totally engrossed in imagining it’s already our house.  I know in my Spirit that that is the home for us, so when I imagine being there, I feel connected to it again and my fear passes.

  • Sometimes just stating my fears out loud helps.  I’ll be sitting somewhere or driving somewhere and just start saying out loud what I’m feeling.  When I say my fears out loud, most of the time I can talk myself back into reality.

Here’s a dialogue I had with myself when we were planning our wedding, and this technique helped: “I’m scared I’m never going to find a great place to get married.  I’m scared it will cost too much money.  I’m scared that we’re never going to get all the details worked out so we can get married.”

Usually I pause and take a breath after I’ve expressed my fears because I already feel some relief.  Then I respond to myself, “Really Melanie?  You’ll NEVER find a place to get married? There are billions of places in the world to have a wedding, and you think none of them will work out?”

Already I realize that particular fear isn’t that logical, so I feel better.  Of course I’ll find a place.  I was fearing a worse-case-scenario that isn’t even possible.  I mean, I could just get married in someone’s back yard if I wanted to.  I feel great about that awareness, so then I address the next fear.  “You’re scared it will cost too much money?  How much is too much?”

We didn’t set a budget, so I didn’t know the answer to this question.  I needed more information.  I set that fear to the side until I had more information, like hitting a big pause button.  By this time, the third fear I expressed sounds like an exaggeration, just like my first fear, and I’m already more calm, and it doesn’t even seem reasonable to me anymore.

Our Wedding CeremonyI laughed and cried throughout our wonderful ceremony 🙂

  • Think of the worst case scenario.  Then, follow through the scenario with inner dialogue until you feel better.  It seems counterintuitive (especially after the previous technique), but it usually works.  I actually read this technique in an O Magazine once I think.

For example, what if things don’t work out the way I think they will and we don’t get that home soon?  (That’s stating my worst case scenario.)  Then, I follow through by asking myself, “Okay, what if that happens?”

We’ll have to eventually consider other options again.

Okay, what if that happens?

We’ll probably be led somewhere else.

Okay, what if that happens?

I’m sure it will be better than we even imagined, because that is how things work out for us.

Okay, what if that happens?

Everything will be just fine and we’ll be happy!

  • At other times, I remind myself what my Guides have told me in the past.  If I’m feeling scared because I don’t know the next step, I remind myself that when it’s time for me to take the next step, I’ll know what to do.  In the meantime, I can relax and enjoy the present experience, which has a perfect purpose for me as well.  If my initial plans go awry, I remind myself that everything happens for a positive reason.  If my fear concerns time, I remind myself that everything happens in Divine Timing, even me.

Here are some articles that really help me when I’m feeling fearful:

Spirit Guides on Divine Timing

Great Expectations #1: Divine Timing

You Are Enough

Expectation

Dandelion Meditation

Here’s a story in one of my newsletters about a message I received when I was feeling really fearful.  I felt frantic in my mind, wondering what, when, and how things were going to happen.  I stopped and did a yoga video.  At the end, I sat and meditated, and I received a message that brought me to tears – October Newsletter.

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  • A Green Spell

    I try to remember something I read in the Power of Now: When you start becoming anxious due to your thoughts, you identify whether or not your thoughts have anything to do with the present moment and if they don’t, if they are projections of fearful future, for example, you state, “This is an illusion.” Helps me a lot.

    • Anonymous

      What a great lesson for me, A Green Spell. I have been driving myself crazy for the past two days over that very thing (projecting into the future with fear) about something so silly. Thankfully, I got over it, but if there’s a next time (“if”…pah ha ha ha!), I’ll remember that quote.

      It’s funny that you should mention the Power of Now, because I found some meditation cards based on the book the other day and have been reading them. Then, I found the book on the bookshelf and started reading it. Obviously there are many lessons in there that I can take to heart. Thank you for being another sign for me to read the book 🙂